


Because it hurts...

by Sedecrem



Series: Promises that were made [3]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Character Death, Fluff and Angst, Kings Landing, Other, Promises, Sibling Bonding, The Red Keep, upcoming wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:15:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24575914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sedecrem/pseuds/Sedecrem
Summary: Arya and Rickon on their way to the one place Arya hates the most, kings landing.
Relationships: Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, Jon Snow & Arya Stark, Jon Snow/Arya Stark, Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen, Minor or Background Relationship(s) that are mentioned, Sansa Stark & Willas Tyrell
Series: Promises that were made [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1776040
Kudos: 20





	Because it hurts...

''I don't want to go Bran, and you know that,'' Arya said angrily.

Bran sighted ''I know you don't want to, but still you have to go, for our family.''

Arya let out a frustrated huff, ''You're wrong, I don't need to go, Sansa will already be there to represent house Stark. There is no need for me to be there too.'' Not planning to surrender to her brother so so easily, she would make it difficult for him.

''Yes but Sansa won't be a Stark for long. Besides, would you really leave Sansa on her own? Without family or friends to protect her?'' He had her there. Of course, she would support Sansa not matter what. But she wasn't planning on telling Bran that.

''She won't be alone, she would have a brand new family and a loyal hound to guard and protect her.'' She knew she sounded bitter and angry, but she just couldn't leave it out of her voice.

''Besides, You'll have need of me, I know you do.''

''Oh Arya,'' Bran sighted, ''it’s true, Bran needs you. But I am not Bran, I am the three-eyed raven and he needs to focus.''

He whispered the next words. ''And you might be the only person that makes that mere impossible. You're so stubborn, refusing me to be nothing other than your little brother.'' That earned him a careful smile from Arya but still, she couldn't just give in.

''Rickon won't like it though, you know that he doesn't like it when we have to part. I can't put him through this again.''

It was true, Rickon and she were really close when they had found each other again. Rickon was wild, just like she was, and it was that trait that made them closer than ever. He needed her and she would be lying if she said she didn't either. They both took back Winterfell, their home. He had been the youngest of all of her siblings when wroth happened to their family. He couldn't even remember their parents face, he had told her once sadly. That was the moment Arya had realised she had to be strong just a while longer if only so her younger brother would feel better. The reason why they needed to fight for Winterfell, even when it looked all lost. And sometimes, she silently admitted to herself that the face of her family was blurry too, how did Rob look like again? All she could see when she thought of him was Grey winds head sowed onto his body. Sometimes it was a woman with a throat cut open to the bone, laying naked in a river, that plagued her mind. The eyes were glassy, not a trace of the lively blue it had once had.

She realised she was silent for too long. But when she looked up at Bran, of the three-eyed raven, she saw that he didn't pay attention to her at all. Arya sighed, she missed the old Bran, the playful one, the one who she could tease. But then again, she was different now too.

After she, Jon, Rickon had gathered allies and released Winterfell from the Boltons with a Wildling army, some leftovers of Stannis army and the Tully forces that could be spared, it still had not been enough. It was Sansa who showed up with the knights of the Vale. They had come just when it had looked the end was near. Sansa, pretty Sansa. Sansa was changed now too. Sansa would still not tell Arya what had happened to her at the Vale, but Arya gathered that it hadn't been pretty. The only thing her sisters had said was, _'_ I was stupid but now I'm not.' And that was it, nothing else. The battle was bloody and they had lost many people. But in the end, they had won. She felt tears in her eyes when she thought about _him_ , about his stubborn stormy eyes. How he had promised to never leave her again but in the end still had. How the Bolton bastard had put several arrows into his body. How her stupid bull had fought for her, how he killed for her and how he eventually died for her. She thought about the bull helmet they had found together again, for it later to be lost to him again. 'Give it to him,' Gendry had said, she had only nodded.

She thought about how she commanded him to be buried and not burnt. How she had found a place near the famous inn where he had other friends. How she had forced the stonemason to make him a good statue. How she had crafted his name into the stone ''Ser Gendry of the Hollow's hill, the Bull.' How she forced everyone to remember his name, his story. Of course, this news spread throughout the whole of Westeros. The Stark girl and her bastard. Yes, the people had loved it, the rumours and the songs. But she could only remember those last terrible moment. How she screamed and shouted and cursed the gods for taking yet another one of her pack. How his last words still ached her so much she found it hard to breathe. Blood on his face, blood on his lips, _''m'lady...''._ How she had cried her heart out by Jon, how he had soothed her back to sleep like he used to do when she was little. How everyone told her it was going to be alright yet still feeling hopeless. The day after she had woken up to say goodbye to the rest of the brotherhood without banners. They would leave for the Stormlands to help Davos and the rest of Gendrys remaining family. Edric was the heir and needed help. Gendry had told her that he had wanted to meet this family. How cruel the world was to even take that away from him?

She remembered how she was angry at everyone but mostly herself. How she had blamed and cursed and fought. And then when she had needed her sister the most, when they had finally gotten closer she had gone to Riverrun. For alliances everyone said. Bugger that! Arya thought bitterly. Weren't her mother's house words; 'Family, duty, honour.' Family first, the family was supposed to be first. 'We need alliances, Arya,' Sansa had said days prior. '' I know what I'm doing, let me fight my own battles the way I know-how. And you stick to your swords and tricks.' Arya remembered how they had screamed at each other again, how angry they were but really how scared she was for Sansa. She didn't want to lose another. After all, she needed to have a pack. The lone wolf dies but the pack survives, right?

Sansa didn't stick around Riverrun she had gone for Kingslanding the next week. And now Sansa was getting married, to a rose. Pretty dutiful Sansa was going to be the lady of Highgarden, and the sad part was that Arya knew Sansa didn't want to, that Sansa had stopped wishing for a marriage a long time ago. But that she had done if for her family, for her, for allies. Was it worth it? Arya thought, she missed her sister, it wouldn't be so bad to see her. The problem was the place where it was going to happen, she hated Kings Landing. Cercei was still alive, hidden somewhere and little finger had also managed to escape the Vale, she knew he had something to do with her father's arrest all those years ago. And Sansa had said that he was not to be trusted. What good was she when she couldn't revenge her own family? No, you did revenge them, you killed the Freys, freed your uncle and killed the Boltons, a voice told her. It was enough, but still, Cercei was on her list, and she couldn't just get rid of her list. They had all fought back for their home. Both in their own way. But still, Sansa leaving left a bitter taste in her mouth. And now she would see Sansa again at the place she dreaded more than any other place in the world. She was going to be the new Rose, a winter rose. Pretty and proper Sansa had made it, her mother would've been proud Arya thought suddenly. She wasn't jealous or angry she just felt betrayed. Deep down she knew Sansa hadn't had an easy time in the Vale. Hiding, surviving, but still, she wanted Sansa to stay with her. To make up for all the lost time. But mostly she didn't want to go back _there_ , back where it had all begun.

And now they were forced to make new alliances to help them fo another war to come, a war of death. Was it ever going to be easy for their family?

'' Rickon won't be leaving you.'' Arya was put out of her thoughts and made to face Bran, what did he mean by that?

''What do you mean not leaving me?''

''As I said, he won't be leaving you, because he will be going with you.''

Her first thought was to scream no! It was far too dangerous. But in the end, nowhere was safe anymore, besides it would be good to have him by her side.

''When did you decided all of this? You've been clearly thinking about it for quite some time.'' Bran nodded, ''Jon and I decided on it together, Highgarden would give us a lot of recourses we need, it wouldn't be smart to put it at risk, do try to be at your good behaviour.'' Bran gave her look, that awfully reminded her of a dead mother. Brand and Sansa both had that effect on Arya. It also made her angry,

''Sansa isn't some breeding horse, you can throw around for the highest bidder. She is our sister!'' she shouted.

''I know that relax, it was Sansa’s choice. You know I'm not like that.’’ Bran said insultingly.

 _No, I dont know_ , Arya wanted to spat but she bit her tongue. She liked it though, liked to get an honest emotion out of Bran.

‘’She told me herself and well, yes I know these things.'' Bran continued.

''So it's al decided then, everybody knows except me?'' Bran was silent, so that meant yes. Arya rolled her eyes, when did they all start to make decisions without consulting her? _After what happened to him_ , a voice whispered to her. _You were too emotional, too weak_. Arya sighed and forced those thoughts away.

''And _she_? is she going to stay?'' She didn't'' need to explain who she was for Bran nodded his head.

''Yes, Danearys is staying. She and Jon have a lot to talk about and we're all making plans for the upcoming battle.''

She suppressed another sight. She tolerated Dany, for now. Once she had thought she could do more than that, but then she had warged into her dragon. And well, Daenerys didn't take that lightly. Who knew it was considered an insult to warg into someone's dragon? So, for now, it meant tolerating each other. Arya could see the influence Deanyrys had on Jon. She hadn't liked it one bit. Or mayhaps she was jealous? Jon wasn't just hers anymore, he was so much more. _He was never yours_.

''When are we leaving?'' She began after some silence. ''Within the hour, I already made the servants make preparations.''

 _Great_ , Arya thought. So soon it seemed. It would make sense though. Though it didn't feel right to leave home again. It would have been nice to see the blackfish, her great uncle again. She had wanted to visit Riverrun for some time now. But Bran tells her they are going by ship. she had to agree, by ship was easier and faster. Arya sighed, her uncles and her newborn cousin had to wait for another time.

Perhaps it was all for the best, seeing Sansa again would be nice.

''The wolfs will be staying I guess, it didn't go well the last time,'' Arya said, remembering memories she rather did not want to remember.

''No,'' Bran began, ''You have to bring them,''

That surprised her and she made to ask him when he already began to speak.

''They'll protect you from the enemies, you can use them to warg into and besides you know as much as me that Rickon never has been far off from Shaggydog. If they did, it would mean a disaster.''

''True, but people won't like it, the wolfs won't like it.''

''Oh don't be so sure about that, sure, Shaggy won't like it, but he rarely likes anything or anyone. And you can keep him calm, you're stronger now. Though Nymeria would, she likes new places and adventures, just like her namesake.'' The last one was added with a smile.

Arya rarely saw Bran smile these days. Today had been special he didn't oppose to being called Bran or reminded that he was. Today he had almost looked like the old Bran.

''So I'll guess this is good by then?'' She said looking into Bran's pretty eyes. Sansa and Rickon shared the same eyes. That made her feel more at peace, Bran would be there with them, in their eyes.

''Yes, I'll guess so,'' Bran said in that monotone of his that meant he was not really Bran anymore.

She made to hug him quickly, not caring if he resisted, just wanting to savour this moment. Surprisingly he held onto her while softly whispering. '''Promise me you’ll be careful and smart.''

Arya smiled, it was enough for her to know that Bran was still there somewhere. And when she'd come back. She'd made sure to keep Bran there and remove the Three-eyed Raven for good.

''I promise.''

***

''We need to make camp before the nightfall, she yelled to Rickon who had been nagging about the rain, ''I rather have snow, snow doesn't make you all wet around, besides you're much nicer north. It's like you're getting bitter the more we go South.''

He was nervous Arya noted, she was too, but she didn’t let it show. They were both excited to see Sansa but also didn't know how to express their feelings. They had left two days ago, just the two of them and their horses, wolves following them on foot. It had made Jon angry for sure and it would make Sansa too. Arya suddenly wondered if Sansa would feel ashamed of them, of Arya. Like she had been when they were younger. But Arya had shrugged her shoulders, They were quicker this way, besides they couldn't spare more men and supplies. In the end, it had been Dany who convinced Jon. Sansa had guards in kings landing after all.

''Do you think she'll remember me?'' Rickon asked her when they were laying out their self-made bed. She knew who he meant but still asked. ''Who?''

''Sansa, do you think she'll remember me?'' He asked her again with puppy eyes. He looked small and kind of sweet. Arya was startled by the fact that her brother was only a boy of eight. His usual wild demeanour and character made him often look older. But the fact remained, that he was still a young boy. Younger than Arya had been when she first left for Kings Landing.

''Of course, she'll remember you silly, She had seen you before the battle of bastards didn't see.''

She ruffled his hair then, just like Jon used to do when she had been little. She saw his face slightly relax. Rickon had problems remembering people. She wasn't surprised he was far too young and had lost too many for a boy his age. _So have you._

''Do you think you can show me the dragons skulls under the red keep you used to talk about?''

Arya was surprised at that, he still remembered? She had thought he hadn't listened to her back then.

''Why would you want to see dragons skulls now that you've seen real ones?''

Rickon shrugged his shoulders, ''It sounds like an adventure like in one of the stories you tell,'' Arya scolded herself for telling Rickon to many stories lately. But it was sometimes the only thing to distract him, that and training, learning new tricks.

''The red keep has a lot of secret passageways Bran says. Is he right?''

''Yes, I think so, I don't know many of them thought. I only was there for a year and I hadn't that much free time before father....'' She had stopped talking, thinking of her father still felt difficult. Especially with a sibling who didn't remember the man as she had.

''You never told me,'' Rickon began again. That made Arya turn her head around again. Since when did her brother speak in riddles? He must have listened to much to Tyrion. Honestly, Arya had been glad, to say the least, when he and Varys had left for the capitol moons ago.

''Told you what?''' Arya asked slightly irritated now.

''About father,'' Rickon said as if it was the most normal thing to say.

''You talk about everyone but not about father, why?''

Arya sighed, ''Go to sleep Rickon, we need our rest.'' And Arya knew Rickon would hate that, hated how she could dismiss him so easily as only an older sibling could do. She knew for she had felt the same many times. And just like Arya, Rickon didn't let it go so easily. After some curses, in the old tongue he had picked up during his time in Skagos, he left it alone.

Arya smiled despite his angry huffs. It was strangely amusing. It was only when it had turned truly dark, both of them creeping closer to the fire when he had asked again.

''Why?''

Arya smiled again, he could be as stubborn as her. She put her arms protectively around her little brother.

And when she felt his head resting on her shoulder, his breathing starting to become more even, she made to answer.

''Because it hurts.''

***

White harbour was colder than the last time Arya had been here. Though not as cold as Winterfell it felt much chillier than Arya had imagined it would be. The rain had stopped, too cold for the cold winds that came from the sea. Despite the war, the city looked unaffected by it all. The city was buzzing and people were everywhere, shouting, selling and going on their own business. Next to her, Rickon stiffed, Arya knew he had many memories here. Memories he’d sooner forget. A soon as she looked at him he nodded. They had a plan, leaving on the scheduled ship as soon as possible. It was not easy to make their way without being noticed by curious glances, their Dire wolfs made sure of that. After some quarrelling concerning the wolfs, they finally went on board. For now all that was left to do was waiting. They would reach Kingslanding within a few days.

***

''Ugh, does it always smell this bad?'' Rickon blurted out as soon as they reached the capitol.

He scratched his nose up in disgust. He had never really been familiar with the stench of a great city. Only ever breathing in northern air. Arya had to suppress a chuckle, her brother didn’t know how bad it would be when the wind turned.

''I don't like it here, Shaggy wants to go home. It's too hot, I'm all wet from the heat.'' Rickon continued.

''It's called sweat and don't be such a baby.'' But silently Arya felt like there were stones in her stomach. Nothing ever good happens when a Stark went South. And she and Rickon were perhaps the most Stark of their siblings. She felt scared for Rickon, but Bran had told her he needed to be here. Although she was beginning to second guess Bran. She was quite sure Rickon would only raise more hell and trouble. And then suddenly a thought crossed Arya’s mind. And she berated herself for not thinking of it sooner. Rickon would sure as hell raise trouble _here_ , and Bran knew that. Which only meant he was not safe at Winterfell.

''And now, what do we do now?'' Rick interrupted her. Arya forced herself to be extra careful. Rickon was still tugging at his clothes, furs. The idiot had still not changed. No wonder he felt hot.

''Rick I told you to change into thinner clothes, you told me you would. '' She demanded of him, ignoring his question about what to do now.

''I felt naked, but I think I'll change now, Damn it's supposed to be winter isn' it. Why is it so hot here?'' He retorted angrily.

Sometimes Arya wondered how the two them managed to get along so well, they were both hot-headed. Her brother lacked the education she and the rest of her siblings had. 

‘’Well, you have to wait for now. Don’t you move, I think I see a rider coming this way.'' Nymeria was whining and shaggy-dog was not much better. But Arya knew they had to wait. 

They were an odd couple, two dark clothed people and two big wolves accompanying them. They would make for some good gossip. Arya was sure the lords and ladies of the court were still eager for gossip, they must be.

She was slightly surprised by the riders coming there way, two gold cloaks, a few knights she guessed with the Tyrell sigil and then there was he, the hound. As ugly as ever, though she could swear at seeing an amusing smirk plague his lips.

''Lady Arya, Lord Rickon We've been ordered to escort you to the red keep, follow us,''' one of them said, a Tyrell one, Arya mused. He eyed the wolfs with fear.

''Argh, You really think you can command the lots of them, they stab you in the neck if you keep talking like that.'' The Hound roared getting off his horse. And Arya was surprised by how much she had missed him.

She turned to face him. Grinning, he looked good, as good as a grumpy old man could look.

''Missed you little wolf''' he said, right before scooping her into one of his rare hugs. She didn't care and hold onto him tightly. She could see Rickon looking annoyed and the lords looked surprised. She swore she could hear their gaping mouths hanging wide open. All shocked to witness the exchange between the fearsome hound and the little lady.

When the hound had let go of her and rubbed Rickons wild locks he turned to the others.

''Everybody this is the famous she-wolf, '' Rickon huffed again and Arya had to suppress her laughter, Rickon looked jealous. The hound took notice too.

''And her equally scary wolf brother Rickon Stark.'' The term seemed to satisfy Rickon and he moved to a horse that was made ready for them.

Arya made to face the rest of the knights and eyed them warily. _Be careful_ , Bran had told her and _be smart_. She wondered if those words had a double meaning. Nevertheless, this was not the North anymore and Arya quickly put her mask of indifference on. Training at the house of black and white had taught her many things. Most had been useless in Winterfell. Not in Kings Landing though. For this city was full of plotters and schemers. She had been forced to read people all those years back. At first, she had struggled, but it didn't take long for her to turn the tables. Right now, she knew exactly what the men were thinking, or rather what they were feeling. They were scared of the Dire wolfs. The thought made Arya feel glad. Better to be feared than loved.

''Can I change now Arya?'' Rickon asked in his childish voice that surprised the people around them.

''Of course, my wildling, do take off your clothes in front of these nice men.'' She had meant it as a jest and a few of them were snickering.

Soon they were mounting their horses, the red keep as their destination.

***

''Stil haven't changed I see.'' The hound gruffed, but the mirth was clear on his face. Sandor was happier than she had ever seen him.

''Glad some of us _did_ change and are happier for it, I see Highgarden has been to your liking.'' The hound only snorted as a response.

''How is Sansa doing? Nobody wants to tell me anything and in her ravens, she tells it's marvellous, it's almost as if she is her old self again. Tell me, and tell me truly, are they nice to her? Are they good?'' She had meant to sound demanding but it came out rather sad and suddenly she realised she was scared for her sister’s well being.

The hound noticed and reassured her while saying; ''It's alright wolf girl, the little bird is singing again, her betrothed is a nice man.''

That made Arya feel slightly better, there was no need for Sandor to lie. But there was sadness in his words too, 'her betrothed' he had said. She knew that Sandor held feelings for her sister, different than he had for her. She wondered then if they were much alike, two souls losing a lover, yet both in a different way. And she wondered then if he had it worse, for his love was alive but promised to someone else. She brushed those thoughts away when she noticed her brother, being an idiot.

''Rickon Stark! By the gods'' By the word use of his name her brother looked up, looking caught.

''What do you think you are doing?'' She said in a much nicer voice. Her brother had taken her words too literally and had pulled off his tunic, his upper body naked, left for anyone to see. He looked far too comfortable for an eight-year-old. The skin on his young muscles sweating in the southern son. He looked much like a wild boy, half-naked on a royal horse. It was so absurd that Arya shook her head again.

‘’Unbelievable,’’ Arya mumbled.

The sound of giggling girls made her give him a stern look. Definitely a wildling that one was, Arya, thought. The men around them burst out laughing. Not that Rickon paid them any mind, he looked actually relaxed now. As if slowly enjoying the warmth.

''What? It's better now, I don't think I'll need a thinner tunic I'll just wear nothing.'' He said with his childish honesty.

Arya couldn't help but smile, '''Oh Rick, I can't wait for Sansa to scold you about your clothing attire, she used to do that to me you know. I didn't like to wear dresses, I still don't. But at least I wore clothes.

She grinned widely and Sandor made a chuckling sound. As soon as she had spoken Sansa’s name Rickon's face fell. He desperately wanted Sansa to like him. Arya saw it in his face and felt instantly guilty. Moving her horse next to his, she brushed at his wild red locks. ''Don't worry wildling, she'll like you, I'm sure of it.'' She finished by kissing his cheeks and pinched his nose. Rickon who suddenly felt embarrassed by his sister sudden show of affection turned a deeps shade of red. He gruffed in annoyance. But secretly liking it when his sister calls him ‘wildling’ and ruffling his hair. He would feel like he belonged, felt like he was not alone.

‘’We’ve almost arrived.’’ Some of the guards spoke.

An odd eerie feeling returned to Arya’s stomach. Before them loomed the stronghold with its red stones that had earned itself the name; The Red Keep. Although Arya knew that was not the only reason. For fire and blood had been the cause. Magor the cruel had made sure of that. And all those years back Arya had experienced the blood and all its wreath that it had brought with it. She suddenly wondered if it would be different now with the Dragons as the ruling family. Not soon had she thought about it when a loud shriek could be heard. She was familiar with the sound. She looked at the sky that was now hidden behind a large shadow.

The third one, Arya mused. The green Dragon.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to comment!


End file.
